


Soft

by laurenkmyers



Series: Ballum drabbles or codas [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Family, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26646877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenkmyers/pseuds/laurenkmyers
Summary: Coda after the dun dun. Callum has a decision to make.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum drabbles or codas [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833373
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	Soft

Callum sits in deafening silence as conflicting emotions rattle his brain. He considers Phil’s offer for a moment. Work for Phil Mitchell? The thought sours on his tongue, the repeated emphasis on the word _family_ \- manipulates in his mouth, twisting into a dirty word. No wonder Ben has issues letting go of this man and his ideals for the well-oiled machine he proudly calls _family_ \- the idea of betraying such a man is a terrifying concept.

Callum hears Phil retire for the night; his heavy footfalls echo the thumping of his erratic heart. He takes a large gulp of water, but even that seems too much effort as he struggles to swallow, feeling like the liquid has crystalized in his throat. He’s on the edge of a jagged knife, stuck between his loyalty to Ben, and two very bad men. Neither side is one he particularly wants to be on.

Callum may have made stupid mistakes in the past, but he knows a bad man when he sees one. The thing about Phil Mitchell is that he knows he’s bad, and thrives on that knowledge. Never a good combination.

But even worse than that is DI Thompson, who thinks he’s one of the good guys. And a bad man who’s convinced himself and the people he influences that he’s the good guy is far more dangerous than a bad man who knows he’s bad. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, as the saying goes. 

Callum knows what he has to do, but he’s exhausted; bone weary and anxious as hell at the thought that he could lose everything if things go tits up. He only wants to protect Ben, _his family_ , but he doesn’t know how to avoid the no doubt bloody aftermath of an impossible decision. A thought forever plaguing the mind. 

Callum drags himself up the stairs and opens the door to his and Ben’s dimly lit room. He watches as Ben’s face pops up dramatically from beneath the covers and he turns to smile fondly at him from over his shoulder. Callum’s heart skips a beat. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d never put anything before Ben. He will protect him, no matter what it takes. A decision will have to be made sooner or later. He hopes he makes the right one. 

Callum gently places his cup of water on the bedside table, strips down to his boxers, and climbs into bed behind Ben, pulling him flush against him, back to chest. He snuggles in deep, lets out an exhaled breath and starts peppering hot kisses over Ben’s neck, shoulders, and back. Ben lets out a low hum of approval and grabs Callum’s arm to wrap around his waist to pull him closer, if such a thing were possible. They lie there in comfortable silence before Ben turns his head slightly, manoeuvring his hand behind Callum’s head so that he can pull him in for a slow kiss. Callum melts into it. All his anxiety fades away in that moment.

“You good, babe?” Ben mumbles after they part.

Callum considers the question for a moment before deciding that tonight is not the night for confessions of guilt. He just wants to hold onto the quiet domesticity between them for a little while longer. He nods his head and tangles his legs with Ben’s beneath the covers.

“M’good,” he whispers in reply. “Got everything I need right here.”

“Soft.” Ben replies back with a smile in his tone, and the two drift off into unconsciousness. 

Tomorrow, Callum will make his decision. But tomorrow can wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and fangirl with me over on tumblr: laurenkmyers


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